Keeping a civil tongue in your head used to mean not saying something that would otherwise get you into big trouble. Now it would appear that a "civil tongue" is such a rare commodity that few take its absence as any great loss. Thankfully there are a few who have noticed and do raise the issue of "What ever happened to civility".
Several years ago a professor from the Kenan School of Business at UNC-Chapel Hill in an address to the leadership of the Baptist State Convention of NC made the point that the lack of civility would be one of the great challenges of the 21st century. Especially during this election year we have seen his words proven true.
In recent days an opinion piece has been in our local community newspaper, The Pilot, that decried the use of half truths and outright falsifications in the presidential campaigns. From both sides I might add. In his most recent blog posting, James Emery White chose a British slang term "snarky" to describe the tone and verbiage that has characterized much of our public speech. As he said, there is nothing like having a word that sounds just like what it describes.
In his blog White quotes several biblical passages that emphasize the positive of civil speech. Such communication has the power to calm, to heal, to restore, and to reconcile. It also has the power to save your hide from getting burned when you might have otherwise said something totally out of line. A favorite one-liner is "Make sure your words are always soft and sweet just in case you have to eat them."
Civility has its cousins, not only in its root word of "civil", but in the verb civilize and the companion adjective civilized and noun civilization. We have concrete images of what these words convey. We have equally graphic images of what their opposites convey. As we ponder these meanings, we need to make sure we do not confuse uncivilized with simple or primitive. Some of the most civil folks I've met are those who saw people from a very uncomplicated perspective.
A civilized person is noted for qualities such as self-respect and respect for others. A civilized person will have a sense of moral direction that allows for the freedom and moral development of others. A civil person will see her/himself as a part of a greater interdependent whole that functions best for all when all are seen as valued members of that society, or civilization if you will.
A civil person will treat others as he or she would want to be treated. That kind of treatment includes the aforementioned respect, willingness to give the benefit of the doubt and a second chance, and the desire to forgive when a wrong has been committed. A civil person sees the innate value in others and the potential for development that is good both for the individual and society.
Jesus was civil. He was honest, brutally at times. He served instead of demanding to be served. He saw the best in others. He encouraged others to be their best. He offered a way for others to be their best beyond the limitations of this world. Jesus revealed and exemplified a society, a civilization that exceeded the rules of human relationships. His civility created relationships with the Divine and could redeem willing souls for eternity.
