Serious Dreamers Sweat

Only a few hours ago I returned home from a trip to Asheville, NC and the Biltmore Estate. After realizing how many millions of dollars you can go through maintaining a place like that, I feel quite satisfied with my little bungalow in the center of the state. Those were neither simpler nor cheaper days. It took a hunk of change to pay 35-50 servants and fill a 36,000 volume library!

On one of the side trips to a variety of upscale gift and souvenir shops, I noticed a stone rabbit with one word carved into its side, “Dream”. Put this in the context of what I had been dreaming while touring Biltmore, and you can understand my response of “Yeah, right!”

We are not asked to go through life without dreams. Now life without dreams doesn’t make you a slave. He dreams of freedom. A life without dreams is a life without awareness of either past or future. It is a life that exists only for the moment and the sensations the moment can provide. It is a life that can never rise above the fleeting and momentary impulses common to all animals.

Biltmore took most of the fortune inherited by George W. Vanderbilt from his father. When he died, his widow soon had to take steps to save her home which included selling over three quarters of the estate. Less than fifteen years later the home was opened to the first paying tourists.

George Vanderbilt was perhaps a misguided dreamer. Another dreamer came along in the 20^th century with a different focus. He didn’t spend money to impress people. He spent time to free people from prejudice. M. L. King, Jr. delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech in Washington, DC fifty years ago today. Being able to impress people with your money can only go so far. Then it falters. Dreaming of ending all prejudice may also remain an unfilled dream, but this is a dream worth continuing.

Dreaming that all prejudice will disappear is a huge dream. Yet it is only a small part of the dream to which every believer in Christ is called. Jesus gave his followers a dream beyond our imagination. We are to dream of heaven on earth.

In the Model Prayer as recorded in Matthew 6, Jesus urges his disciples to ask the Father that “your Kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” There can be no greater dream than to have the divine reign of the Creator-Father become as real on earth as it is in the spiritual realms of glory. Under God’s rule, not only would prejudice cease to exist, but so also all the other self-focused and shortsighted ways of man. We cannot begin to imagine the nature of such a world, but we are called to dream of it and pray for it.

Martin Luther King, Jr. preached about rejecting prejudice. He supported laws limiting its influence. Ultimately he died because of his stand against it. His death only marked his commitment to his cause. It did not guarantee its success.

Jesus the Christ, the Son of God, preached about the Kingdom of God. He spoke of it more than any other topic. He taught his listeners the nature of the Kingdom and how they could live as its citizens. He opened their eyes to see how they could be a part of it for eternity. Ultimately he died because he would not compromise the demands placed upon its citizens. His death affirmed his integrity and at the same time guaranteed the prayer he taught his disciples would become reality.

Dreaming can but does not always lead to action. Perhaps it is impossible to change the future without a dream, but many a dream has disappeared into the dust because the dreamer refused to act. Serious dreamers act. Serious dreamers are not afraid to sweat. Serious dreamers are not afraid to die. The world is changed by dreamers who work for dreams worth dying for. The greatest dreams are those for which death is never the end.

Preparing To Let Go

Sixteen years ago I stood by my father-in-law’s casket and said something like, “This is all happening too soon. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. You were supposed to be around for a lot more years!” He was a few days shy of reaching his 68^th birthday. His daughter and I had been married less than twenty years. I had laughingly told people that when I decided to get married, I went looking for a man I thought would make a great father-in-law and hoped he would have a daughter acceptable as a wife. I found the best of both.

The rheumatoid arthritis that destroyed his lungs came fast, silently, and ended his life while he still had much to enjoy. My wife and I had looked forward to many years of his grandpa role for our two sons. We were not prepared to let him go. Now we must try to get ready to move once more through the same process. Letting go can be a hard decision.

Last week was a time of touring nursing homes, questioning administrators, and evaluating what the elder generation can handle. The words were wise but not easy to take coming from a family counselor who said, “Tom, you may want your parents to be happy in the last years of their lives, however many that may be. But you cannot focus on what will make them happy. You have to focus on what is best for them. That is the way you will be the son they need you to be.”

I watched my parents turn a farm of rocky Kentucky clay into a garden. Pop could make a limestone outcropping produce wagons full of corn. We didn’t measure our potatoes by the pound. We measured them in hundred pound feed sacks. My parents were strong. In a little boy’s eyes, they would always be strong.

They aren’t strong anymore. They have moved step by step from the farm to a house with a garden to a small two-bedroom apartment to an assisted living facility. Now we are looking for a nursing home that will offer skilled care when it is needed. One of these days I will have to let them go. That will be the hardest decision of all. I will have to do it, not because it will make anybody happy, but because it is what is best.

It doesn’t make it any easier that my mother-in-law has slow growing but terminal cancer. We have to prepare to let her go as well. In none of these cases do we know when, only that it is inevitable. We can try to think in terms of happiness, but always it comes back to what is best.

Jesus looked across the centuries and saw in me an older man who just wanted to be a little boy again. The little boy could be happily ignorant of taxes and bills, cattle prices, and tobacco poundage. His dad always had everything under control. He could play in the winter snow, hunt arrowheads after a summer rain, and help his mother pick strawberries eating as many as he put in the bucket.

Jesus saw him and said, “If you are tired of carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest. Take the yoke I give you. Put it on you and learn from me. I am gentle and humble, and you will find rest. This yoke is easy to bear, and this burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 CEV) Jesus’ listeners understood. A young, untrained ox would be teamed with an older, experienced animal. Sharing the yoke, the younger would learn from the older. They would pull together but the strength and experience of the older animal would make it easier for both.

Someday I will have to let my parents go even as my wife must let her mother go. Preparing for that time is not easy. That is the human perspective. The spiritual view is so much better. It is not only for the best, it also offers happiness, eternal happiness – Revelation 21:1-4.

Making the Hard Decisions

Near the end of the Gospel of John (21:15-19), Jesus tells Peter things will be changing for him in a few years. He will get older and lose his freedom to choose. People will bind him and take him where he does not want to go. This week my family is taking the first steps in preparing to move my parents from an assisted living community where a reasonable amount of freedom exists to a new residence where the restrictions will be much greater. This is not a fun time.

As a little boy on the farm I never thought about taxes. I never gave much thought about the price of beef or pork. The ideas of insurance and long term health care were the farthest things from my mind. If those things needed to be considered, then my parents took care of that. I had ball games to play and unexplored territory to cover and unfortunately tobacco to hoe. Now the roles are reversed. Pop is no longer concerned about the price of hogs or tobacco. Paying the insurance bills is someone else’s responsibility. My sibling and I have to make the hard decisions.

I remember seeing my father in those early days sitting at his desk and going over books I didn’t recognize. Later I learned those were checkbooks, state crop reports, and documents showing animal stock market price trends. There were magazines with information on crop seed, weed control, and pesticides. All were topics that held little interest for an eight-year-old boy, but were critical for the one having to make the hard decisions. Now I’m reading documents on elder law, Medicare, and Medicaid. There are not only the rules, regulations, and what to prioritize, but also the emotions.

For an hour and a half I listened to and questioned an expert on local nursing homes and the essential elements to be considered when choosing a new residence for my parents. The basics like sanitation and house rules were reviewed. The stability of local administration was a factor to be given weight. The government restrictions in the financial realm were covered. Millionaires might not have to worry about such things. The rest of us do.

The book of Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament is not one often studied which is a shame. It is one of the most human writings in the Bible. The author does not fear to express his frustration with life. He sees beyond the limits of materialism and earthly power. He recognizes that for life to have meaning it cannot be grounded in anything limited to this world. His search for meaning reflects that of all humanity. He has much to teach us.

In the last chapter the Teacher of Ecclesiastes gives a poignant description of old age. (Ecclesiastes 12:1-8) With graphic images he speaks of physical deterioration and the loss of emotional control. As with the words of Jesus to Peter, there comes a time when someone else will make the decisions for us, and things will not be as we might wish. Someone else will become the parent and we will once more be the child.

Proverbs 3:3-6 can prepare us for those days. With love, faithfulness, and trust in God as the foundational pillars in our lives, we can face those days with an assurance that things will be in the hands of God. Keep love and faithfulness close to your heart. Look to the One who has your best interest in mind all the time. Depend upon the One who has the answer to every life situation that will bring you closer to his will for your life. Trust the One who was there with you in the beginning and will be with you through the end. Trust the One with divine wisdom to help you with every decision.

You Can’t Beat Teamwork!

This past weekend I worked with an international children’s golf tournament as a volunteer, specifically with a group of 144 ten-year-old boys representing several foreign countries and numerous states. Others volunteers served as starters, scorers, rule judges, and shuttle drivers. My job along with several others involved making sure large coolers scattered around the course were full of ice and water. The three days were simply a delight.

Close to 50 volunteers worked part or all of the three days from 6:00 AM to nearly 7:00 PM. Though cool in the mornings, by 1:00 PM the overcast haze was gone and the sun was hot with temperatures in the mid 90’s. Most of the adults accompanying their young golfers behaved as ladies and gentlemen though a small handful showed their less than genteel tempers at times.

The local folks who gave of their time to make the tournament possible did not have to be recruited. They came looking for a place of service. They didn’t try to do their job plus someone else’s. They didn’t complain when the conditions were inconvenient or uncomfortable. They didn’t seek out personal recognition. They gave support to others doing similar work and to others who were doing different tasks. They cheered on the young golfers offering them words of encouragement. When the day and the tournament were over, they thanked the course supervisor for the opportunity to serve.

After all had gone home, the excitement of the awesome finish had dissipated, and the evaluation of the event was underway, I thought to myself, when was the last time I had seen a group of church volunteers working with the same attitude. I had to admit that the times had been rare.

The list jumped in front of me. The auditorium was too hot or too cold. The choir was too loud or too soft. The songs were too new or too old. The preacher talked too long. No one ever complains if the sermon is extra short! The little kid in the back made too much noise. Young families have their priorities all wrong, or they would be in church with their little kids. People wear expensive clothes just to parade in front of people. Other people don’t respect the church enough to wear decent clothes.

This person gets asked to do the good jobs. That person is never asked to do anything. The custodian didn’t do a good job of cleaning a classroom. The custodian removed old literature that was being saved. The bathroom stinks. The bathroom smells like perfume.

An old saying full of truth says, “The one thing over which you have total control is your attitude.” A group of volunteers at an international golf tournament took it seriously they represented the sponsoring tournament, the host golf course, and the county itself. They took their ambassadorships seriously. They wanted to make a good impression though the chances were they would never see any of the golfing families again.

Where do our church members lose sight of their ambassadorships for the Kingdom of God? (II Corinthians 5:20) Why do we forget we are contributing members of the Body of Christ? (Romans 12:3-8; I Corinthians 12) Civility on the golf course says you take turns, you follow basic rules to keep everything in order, and you focus on your job. We come to church and it would appear at times there are no rules except survival of the fittest. You took my parking spot. You took my seat in the sanctuary. I’ll sing extra loud because everyone should get to hear me. Some of us would rather not!

Civility should be a Christian trait. Servanthood, humility, self-sacrifice, and cooperation within the Family of God are qualities exemplified by our crucified Savior. As followers we should offer him our best and follow his example and not just save it for the golf course.