You can be alone and not be
lonely. You can be lonely and not be alone. It has everything to do with
feeling wanted. If you know someone wants you, even if they are not present,
you have a sense of value. If you can’t imagine anyone wanting you, then you
feel you have no reason to exist. It’s all because of a relationship.
Invitations to any gathering
of people indicate we are wanted. We might question the motivation for the
invitation, but if it is sincere, we can say we are wanted. Often we go to
gatherings for one primary reason. We will be missed if we don’t go, again
indicating we feel wanted.
The opposite is also true. We
can think of a thousand reasons for not going somewhere we feel we will not be
wanted. The rejection will be almost tangible, if not outright obvious. No one
enjoys that so we avoid those situations if at all possible.
For the Christian as well as
any individual, there is the need to be wanted. Perhaps more so as we want to
know we are wanted by God. We take comfort in the belief God wants us and has
taken steps born of love to let us know his love.
Jesus told a parable about a
lost sheep and made this point,
Luke
15:4 "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them -
what do you do? You leave the other ninety-nine sheep in the pasture and go
looking for the one that got lost until you find it.” (Good News Bible)
He uses this parable to
illustrate the desire of the heavenly Father to keep his followers. God wants
us! He will go to any extreme to keep us close. He even allowed his Son Jesus
to die for us to insure that relationship could be maintained.
We want to be wanted. We need
to be needed. Almost every senior adult knows what it is like to find
themselves in a situation where they feel they are not wanted. We may call that
feeling “being in the way”, or “unnecessary”, or “a bother”. Others may not see
it that way or understand our feelings, but the feelings are real nonetheless.
As we grow older, our
relationships change as they seem to grow fewer in number. Older family
members, then siblings and long time friends pass away. Those who are new in
our circle of acquaintances already have other relationships which are more
important. Younger members of our family or circle of friends have a different
set of interests and other involvements in life. We can very quickly begin to
feel as if we are “in the way”.
Central to our faith is knowing
God never sees us in that light. We are never in his way, never a bother to
him, and always of ultimate value to him. One of the reasons Jesus gave us the
parable of the lost sheep is to tell us we cannot go on feelings. They do not
always reflect the truth. God’s promises are the foundation for our faith, not
our feelings.
Incorporate the senior adult
into multi-person activities as often as possible. This is especially helpful
if the individual’s past interests and skills can be utilized. Being wanted may
consist of simply being remembered. The need may be nothing more than a request
to pray for a specific person or event. Regardless of a person’s health,
wealth, or social standing, we need each other, and God always wants to hear
from his children. Fathers who love their children find it to be one of their
greatest joys.
For the follower of Jesus the
Christ, his birth started a relationship that will never end. God wants us to
the point he is willing to be with us – Emmanuel.
