Too often we dwell on what we
used to be or what we used to be able to do. As one comment has been made that
reflects on us older adults, we maintain visions of what we used to be in our bodies
of today. When we acknowledge the truth of what we are and the loss we have
experienced, frustration and depression can be the result.
Such a frame of mind need not
be, however. To look in the mirror is to see that change and the loss it brings
are natural processes of life. Each individual experiences these changes and
losses in their own unique way and at a different pace.
For some the process can
offer extended opportunities for experiencing the best parts of life. For
others the changes come too quickly and reflect a deteriorating life condition.
We have all known some for whom “old age” came at fifty while others seem
capable of a lifestyle at seventy enjoyed by those still in their forties. We
are saddened by the early onset of this loss of health and energy, but we are
forced to accept it as a part of life.
So what can we do, as ones
who may enjoy a more varied set of activities in our lives, for those whose
limitations have come too soon either in their eyes or the eyes of the world?
When you cannot change their physical condition, you can help them change their
attitude.
Psychologists have noted the
one thing over which persons have total and sole control is their attitude, the
way they choose to face a condition or a situation. Frustration and depression
of the non medical sort are attitudes revealing the perspective of a person
facing their context. If we can change the perspective, then we may perhaps
change the attitude.
Pro 12:25 Worry is a heavy burden, but a kind word
always brings cheer. (CEV)
What does an encouraging word
represent? Consider what you are conveying when you offer a person who is
frustrated by their current situation. You are telling them they have been
noticed. You “see” them. They are not invisible to the world. They are uniquely
remembered among all the people around them.
You care about them. To speak
an encouraging word is tell them you feel compassion for them and not just from
a distance. You are willing to enter into their lives with an expression of
concern. This is more than the idea their name crossed your mind in a passing
moment. Their situation elicited a response from you that was to be shared with
them. Thus the action is more than just the word; it is an expression of your
lives coming together.
The encouraging word may be
spoken. It may also be written. A letter to my mother is read multiple times
before it is laid aside to be replaced with the newest written communication.
In the same fashion young preschoolers are known to have carried a postcard
addressed to them for days after receiving it in the mail.
The encouraging word conveys
the idea a person is remembered and that someone cares. The encouraging word
says things can be seen in a different light and change for the better is
possible. Written or spoken, the encouraging word offers hope, renews emotional
and spiritual strength, and lets the individual know they are not facing the
next moment alone.
The Apostle Paul wrote in his
Second Letter to the Corinthians we who have been in need before should share
our hope with those needing encouragement now.
2Co 1:3-4 Praise God, the Father of our Lord Jesus
Christ! The Father is a merciful God, who always gives us comfort. He comforts
us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others
in trouble. (CEV)
The encouraging word is like
a smile, always available and always free.
