Reflections on Father’s Day

When the young man came home, humbled and beaten down, he hoped to find a father who would just allow him to work as a servant and be given nothing more than a place to rest his head and enough food to stop the hunger pains. He sought a father who would see past his failures and accept him once more if only as a servant. He discovered more than he could have ever dreamed. (Luke 15)

The other side of the coin is found in a divine voice coming from the heavens that said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17, RSV) A Father was made proud by his Son. It was a pride that found its fullest expression on a Sunday morning when divine power intervened and conquered death to bring that Son back to life in a resurrected body. (Luke 24)

Pride in a father goes two ways. You can be proud of your father and how he responds to your needs. You can also be proud to be a father because of the choices you see your children make. One looks to the generation that has gone before. The other perspective is a reflection on the generation to come. Blessed indeed is the family in which fatherhood is admired and draws forth pride across multiple generations.

Fatherhood that draws forth pride is marked both by vision and by example. To read the eleventh chapter of Hosea is to hear the heart of a Father grieving over his children. On one side his holy righteousness demands an accounting for rebellion and idolatry. On the other his holy love cannot allow his children to suffer any further regardless of what they may deserve.

A father sets the example for his children to follow by being the kind of son of which his own father would be proud. Some sons have never known their father. Some sons could never be honest and say they were ever proud of their fathers. That, however, does not keep them from living lives that exemplify the life of a son for whom a father could be proud.

Fathers must live in such a way as to make their children proud to have those men as their fathers. Fathers must also live in such a way as to leave that unmistakable example that a child would be proud to emulate. “I am proud that he is my father. I am proud to be like my father.”

You cannot be that kind of person one day a year. Fatherhood is limited neither to a biological act nor a one-day-each-year celebration. Fatherhood is a personal sense of relationship that is in the mind of a man twenty-four hours a day and in his actions whether he is with his children or not. This sense of relationship moves a man from being simply a progenitor into a unique role. As I have often been reminded, any healthy male can be a father. It takes a special man to be a daddy.

On my desk sits a hinged picture frame. On the right hand side is a photo now more than twenty-five years old of two little boys. On the left hand side is a statement. “A truly rich man is one whose children will run into his arms when his hands are empty.”

I am proud of the example my father set for me as I was growing up. I have sought to make my father proud of me. I have sought to make my sons proud of me as well. I know I am proud of them. They make Father’s Day for me out of every day of the year.

Zombie Christians

I do not understand the fascination parts of our society have with zombies, vampires, and werewolves. The reality you have to face each day ought to be scary enough.

Somebody shot a bunch of somebodies in California. A bunch of somebodies shot a bunch of somebodies in Chicago. Three women were kept hostage for ten years somewhere. Why fill your entertainment time with imaginary creatures bent on destruction while living in that kind of reality?

Even scarier than these undead things walking around us are zombie Christians. No, they don’t have rotted flesh hanging off their bones, but I am amazed how much they pay for ragged clothes hanging off their bodies! They don’t normally speak in monotones. In fact they can be very animated and energetic. Their animation and energy just don’t produce spiritual fruit.

Jesus spoke with three of these zombie believers in one encounter. (Luke 9:57-62) They were willing to become his disciples, but it would have to be on their terms. They needed to fulfill family priorities first and offer the family the proper farewell. They wanted to follow Jesus, but they needed to be socially and politically correct.

In politically incorrect terms, Jesus told them they couldn’t have life if they kept holding on to death. A follower of Jesus could not be filled with the gift of life he offered and still cling to a superficial, pseudo-spiritual lifestyle. The three seemed to disappear from the story.

Zombie Christians will tell you how many spiritual conferences they have attended but can’t tell you the last time they shared the gospel with someone. They will tell you the words to all the latest praise choruses, but they can’t tell you the names of their neighbors or their spiritual condition. They act alive, but they are dead.

The zombie church in the book of Revelation shows this is not just an individual thing. “You have the reputation of being alive but you are dead.” (Revelation 3:1-6) The brief review Sardis gets in Revelation offers little in the way of positive reinforcement. The threat is much greater than the compliment.

A dead church can keep its doors open for generations. It maintains a calendar filled with lots of varied activities. It has a budget the envy of every small business in town. The morning service is led by professional musicians on pipe organ and a thirty-five piece orchestra. The sermon includes quotes in Hebrew and Greek with references to ten different commentators. The church is still dead.

Almost every activity on the calendar is geared toward church members. Only five percent of the budget leaves the church campus, and that goes to some safe place in India. The music makes the listeners feel good without casting a vision for missions, and the sermon rarely calls for transformational life change. The church looks alive but is dead.

Then there is Lazarus, the close friend of Jesus who came back to life. (John 11) His resuscitation was so dangerous to the Jewish leaders they wanted to kill him again! (John 12:9-11) Here the dead came back to life, but instead of being scary, for some people he was too much alive and a real threat to worldly power.

When a seeker finds new life in Christ, the old passes away and all becomes new. (II Corinthians 5:17) That is not someone becoming a zombie. That’s a rebirth! That is why Jesus came. That is the eternal result of his resurrection and his life in every believer. (Galatians 2:20)

Zombies fake life and never enjoy it.

Zombies take life and never offer it.

Zombies destroy life and never renew it.

Zombies exist for the moment and not for the future.

Zombie Christians have claimed a name without surrendering a heart. Zombie churches have claimed a position without surrendering to a mission. Zombies may be fictitious, but their spiritual counterparts running around carrying the name Christian are all too real and need to be told to get a life that counts with God.

Surrounded by Mountaintops (or Valleys)

My prayer as my wife and I left the mountain retreat after two days was “Please, God, go with me back into the valley!” For forty-eight glorious hours there had been no television, no internet, and only one cell phone call concerning a handicap ramp construction project.

Deer grazed on the lower mountain side. Bluebirds graced the nesting box near the one bedroom house in which we stayed. Both nights we were there, we watched the sun set beneath a thin layer of clouds that scattered its colors across the western sky. We were on a mountaintop in more ways than one. We left Sunday morning.

Then came Monday.

Summer attendance numbers in the churches were reported. All were down. A young pastor was forced to resign. Associational leaders found roadblocks interrupting plans. It rained all day.

What happened to the mountaintop?

Tucson is a beautiful city. It is not quite as hot as Phoenix, but it is still surrounded by the seemingly endless desert landscape. And mountains. Set in a long valley, the city is surrounded by four separate mountain ranges. Look in any of four different directions from the middle of the valley, and your eyes are drawn upward.

Each of the mountain ranges is surrounded by the valley plain. Find that ideal point, look in every direction, and you are looking across another valley. You can’t get to another mountain range without crossing a valley.

Valleys don’t last forever. Eventually they hit a mountain range or a plateau. You leave the bottom and head for the top. The same is true of mountains. They don’t last forever. Leave the mountaintop and you eventually come to the valley. In fact you cannot get from one mountaintop to another without going through a valley of some kind.

Jesus took three of his closest disciples to join him in a mountaintop experience. (Matthew 17) They were in awe of what they saw. Peter was so dumbfounded he was left only with the idea of trying to build some form of permanent memorial to commemorate the event. Jesus refused to even acknowledge the suggestion.

Then they headed down the mountain right into Monday.

You can’t live on a mountaintop. There comes a moment when you have to leave and take only memories with you. Going through a mountaintop experience is like being at the North Pole. The only way you can go from there is south. The only way you can go from a mountaintop is down. The only way you can go from a mountaintop experience with God is back into the valley of life where Mondays often come more than once a week.

We have the promise God came down the mountain with us. (Matthew 28:20) We have the assurance that he will never leave us alone. (John 14) He tells us we can have the confidence we will never face anything he cannot handle through us. (Philippians 4:13; I John 4:4)

If you stand in the middle of Tucson and its valley and then pick a straight line and move forward, the overwhelming odds are that you will soon be climbing a mountain and heading for the top. You won’t stay in the valley forever. Another mountaintop experience is waiting for you.

It is a physical impossibility to move from one mountaintop to another without going through a valley. What you do in the valley, however, is up to you. Mondays don’t last forever. Even Mondays can be made into a foundation for a great week when you walk through the valley with the Lord.

It’s Okay To Be Nice

I realized after I posted the last submission I had not included any biblical foundations for appropriate ways to be nice to others. We have to admit that the times have changed. What found approval two thousand years ago may no longer be met in such fashion today. Humanity is the poorer because of that.

Noah (Genesis 6:9) and Job (Job 1:1) both received complimentary remarks. Their praise came because of obedience to the will of the Lord. King David was called a “man after God’s own heart” because of his submission to God. (I Samuel 13:14) It is rare if ever that a prophet of God received any word of praise for his faithful fulfillment of his calling.

Mary found favor in the eyes of God, but we are not told why. (Luke 1:28-30) Jesus praised Peter when he pointed out that Peter’s insight into Christ’s origin and purpose was a product of his faith. (Matthew 16:17) In the parable of the three servants in John 25, the master compliments two of them with the words, “Well done, good and faithful servants…” The victorious Lord in the book of Revelation compliments several of the seven churches because of their faithfulness in the face of heresy and persecution. (Revelation 2:6, 9, 13, 19; 3:4, 8) On numerous occasions the Apostle Paul praises churches to whom he is writing and coworkers for their faithful service for him and with him. (ex. Romans 1:8; Philippians 1:3-5; 2:19-30; I Thessalonians 1:2-3; II Thessalonians 1:3)

In all these cases compliments and supportive words come from the context of faithfulness to the divine command. Are we to believe that material objects and general appearance are of such low importance to God that he expects us to ignore them and look only on the actions of others as they relate to their obedience to his commands?

Jesus was not afraid of touch. He described the citizens of the Kingdom of God by taking a child in his arms. Many of his miraculous healings took place through the involvement of touch. People touched him and were healed. Jesus was not afraid of touch, but there was purpose when he did, and it was always for the benefit of the individual he touched.

When the Apostle Paul handed out praise, he was bragging on individuals to others who would be stirred to greater works in light of the efforts made by others. He spoke to build people up, to encourage them in the face of the struggles confronting the first century Church.

From these examples there are lessons to be learned. These lessons begin with a word from the New Testament description of heavenly wisdom. (James 3:17) The first quality of wisdom is purity. Little else matters if purity is not at the heart of what we think, say, or do. Any touch or word of praise must come from the purest motivations, or its ability to build up and encourage is diminished or lost altogether.

A similar lesson might be described as Kingdom effect. Jesus improved people’s lives through forgiveness and miracles as a way to reveal the nature of the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom is all about healing, restoration, and an awareness of God’s nature and will. Jesus touched people to introduce them to the heavenly Father. He forgave them to restore them to the relationship the Father wanted. To build people up was to bring them to the Father and help them live in his love.

Human nature has a sinful side we cannot escape. Yet as believers we are still called to reveal the Kingdom of God by what we say and do. Perhaps it is not the attractive young woman with hair brushed and an outfit color coordinated that needs our compliment. Perhaps it is the individual who has gone too long since having heard anything positive. Perhaps all that is needed for that lonely individual is the touch of another’s presence. Time freely given can work miracles and “a word spoken at the right time is like golden apples on a silver tray.” (Proverbs 25:11 HCSB)

Nothing Nice To Say

The other day as I was checking out of the grocery store, a young woman was in the next line about to finish and leave the store. She was more than young enough to be my daughter. She was dressed in neat, fashionable, thrift store style. Her hair was long and blond. She was a very attractive young woman who seemed to care how she looked in public.

I wanted to tell her that she looked nice, a bit unusual for grocery store patrons, but I knew that was out of the question. Society now considers such comments as unsolicited flirtation, sexual harassment, the actions of a dirty old man, or a combination of all three. There stood a young woman who actually had taken the time to present herself in decent fashion in public, neatly and appropriately dressed, and I could not tell her I appreciated her efforts.

A family and marriage counselor comments we have entered a time when you can compliment something about a person of the opposite sex, but you cannot compliment the person. You can compliment the person’s jewelry or coat, maybe even the shoes. You cannot, however, say they look nice. That compliments the person, not an object, and that is forbidden.

In a day when people feel isolated by the very social media upon which they have come to depend, we are cautious to the extreme about even what we say, much more how we may touch someone. Shaking hands with someone must be in appropriate fashion. Two men can hug if done quickly. A man can hug a woman only from the side and likewise must be done quickly. There are times when we all crave the touch of another human being simply because we are made that way. Our society has dictated that touch is forbidden except under the most restricted circumstances. Words are controlled almost to the same extent.

The marriage counselor gave a good reason for this caution concerning words and the use of touch. People are starved. They are starved for a compliment. They are starved for a kind word. They are starved for the attention that a compliment indicates. They are starved for a human touch that says they are worth noticing, worth the time it takes to reach out and place a hand on a shoulder. When the word or the touch finally comes, it becomes something far more than intended.

That is when things become dangerous and the caution about words and touch takes on real meaning. We want to know someone notices us. We want to know that someone thinks we have some value. We want to know that someone considers us attractive and wants to be with us. We reach out in response to what we interrupt as personal interest, and the first step is taken toward a damaging and destructive relationship.

We intend a word to say only what it means. Yet the one who hears it hears what they have been longing to hear for a long time. We intend for that hand on the shoulder to say that we understand. The one who receives the touch, however, sees someone who cares, a feeling they have not had perhaps in years.

There is a right way. There is a way to honor another person without giving the wrong impression. It always includes having a third person present. That third person needs to be the Holy Spirit of God.

Seek to honor God and you will honor the person you compliment. When you make sure that every word and every touch would honor God, what you say and do has a better chance of being received the way it is intended. People need to know God loves them and cares about them. God can do it in word and deed through each of us.