My wife teaches preschoolers,
and one of the lessons I have learned from her relates to the pride of being
thought valuable. Maybe it is not so much personal pride in being a preschooler
as it is someone thought I was valuable enough to notice me.
Send a post card to a parent
about an upcoming event related to their child, and they will note it on their
calendar or simply throw the card away. Send that same card to the child and
the parent will get to see the notice. However, the card will not be thrown
away. The child may carry it around for several days proudly showing a piece of
mail they received with their name on it!
In the simplest and most
ordinary ways, many preschoolers and senior adults are alike. They love to see
smiling faces. They love to hear positive words. They love to feel a gentle
touch. And they love to get letters and cards.
The preschooler will carry
the card around for days and look at the colorful picture on the front. They
don’t have to be able to read it. All that matters is they can claim it as
their own; someone sent a personal note to them. A senior adult, especially one
who has limited mobility and limited contact with other people, will give about
the same amount of attention to a personal letter they receive in the mail.
How do I know this? My mother
told me so.
Almost every week (I confess
there are those occasional weeks I forget) I send a two-page letter in large
print to my 93 year-old mother. The subjects are often the same, even simple
repetitions of what were in the last letter. The details are general and
involve much graphic description of weather, household tasks, and news about
her grandchildren.
In our weekly phone calls she
often tells me the most recent letter is on the small stand beside her recliner
where she can easily reach it. Not until the next letter arrives will she
generally throw that old one away. She will read each one multiple times,
perhaps because she forgot what was in it or simply because those printed words
represent an intangible link between her and the son who lives far away.
My mother doesn’t want a big
party for any reason. She refused balloons that were offered to her on her
birthday because she didn’t want people looking at her. That didn’t mean she
wanted to be forgotten. She only wanted to be remembered in her own chosen way.
That is what a card or letter
says. You are remembered, not because of what you can give, but simply because
of who you are. You are valuable because you are a person loved by God and
valuable in his sight. That makes you valuable in the eyes of others.
To be remembered is one of
the greatest gifts we can give someone. It doesn’t have to cost a lot or any
money at all. It needs only to say someone is remembered. A card or a letter
lasts a long time, a lot longer than a phone call as precious as that voice
contact may be. Doing both tells an elderly person they are loved, the best
gift of all.
“You shall rise up before the grayheaded
and honor the aged, and you shall revere the Lord your God; I am the Lord.” Leviticus
19:32 NASV
Perhaps the seriousness of
the command to honor our older family members should be seen in that the writer
combines the command of honoring the elderly with honoring God. There is no
better way to honor the elderly than to help them remember they are loved.
