Thanksgiving
was a season of happiness. The time with family and all the good food, too much
food, made it a time to smile a lot and sit back in the chair. The time came,
however, to leave family and return home. The huge feast became leftovers. The
present occasion turned into a memory. The sense of happiness became a bit of
sadness. All too often happiness depends upon the present experience. Not so
with joy. The joy lingered because of the relationships.
We want
happiness to last for more than the moment. We want happiness to be a
foundational feeling to which we can turn at any moment regardless of what is
happening around us. Unfortunately, that bluebird of happiness can fly away at
the sight of the cat or when the temperatures drop to a low enough point.
Happiness is a fickle thing.
Many years
ago my family lived in an apartment complex with rather thin walls. Emotional
conversations could easily be heard from the neighbors next door. One
particular couple apparently found it difficult to discuss marital issues with
their “inside voices”. One exchange went like this:
Wife with sobs in her voice: I just want you to be happy.
Husband in a loud, domineering voice: I’m happy! I’m happy! I’m
happy!
It was
obvious he was not happy! If there was any joy in that marriage we never saw
(or heard) it. They sought happiness, but it seemed they rarely found it.
If we see
joy grounded in a relationship rather than a current experience, then its
durability becomes more obvious. Happiness is a feeling. Joy is a contentment
in life. Happiness is grounded in an experience. Joy is grounded in a
relationship. Happiness depends more upon personal desires being satisfied. Joy
comes as much if not more from satisfying the desires of the other in the
relationship.
The world
can affect our happiness. Joy, based upon an enduring relationship, is
independent of how the world may be trying to influence us. We find our deepest
joy in investing ourselves in relationships through which we give ourselves to
others. Our happiness may be impacted by their response, but our joy in the
giving cannot be touched.
The
relationship we have with God the Father through God the Son should provide a
joy within our lives that is independent of our circumstances. We don’t
normally think of being happy when we are hungry or cold, yet the joy of the
relationship supersedes the context. As the Apostle Paul says,
Php 4:12 I know what it is to be in need and what it is to have more
than enough. I have learned this secret, so that anywhere, at any time, I am
content, whether I am full or hungry, whether I have too much or too little.
Happiness is
most often connected with having what we want. Paul’s contentment, his joy, is
connected with a contentment that is independent of his circumstances. He may
not have what he wants. He is confident he will always have what he needs
whether that reflects a lot or a little. In this he finds a joy that endures.
The
traveling apostle had learned the hard way the foundations for real joy. He was
compelled in his work not by seeking something for himself, but in fulfilling
his calling as a servant of Jesus Christ. He rejected a lifestyle that focused
upon personal desires and even needs. He rejected the pattern of the world and
let his life be transformed by the indwelling Holy Spirit.
Rom 14:17 For God's Kingdom is
not a matter of eating and drinking, but of the righteousness, peace, and joy
which the Holy Spirit gives.
The only
relationship that promises joy that cannot be touched by the world is the
relationship we have with God through Jesus Christ empowered by the Holy
Spirit. In a season in which we see so much happiness in people only to watch
it disappear with the coming of January, the joy we have in “The Reason for the
Season” will be with us all year long.
