A few weeks ago I had the unexpected experience of a brief stay in the hospital due to a blocked artery in my heart. At 95% blockage the doctors told me I was lucky to have gotten through the situation without a heart attack. With no damage having been done, I could go back to my regular schedule with a new awareness of how things can happen with no warning.
I had felt a strange pressure in the middle of my chest and a burning in my throat. Those were the warnings my body gave me that my heart's arterial system was about to shut down. For years I had focused on a heart healthy diet. I had exercised every day. I had kept my blood pressure under control and cholesterol levels in the healthy range. I took comprehensive vitamins to supplement the already controlled diet. I still developed a blocked artery.
We all know that these things can happen. Cancer is well known for being discovered in stages too advanced to make treatment successful. Other diseases can give us the same problems. We find out too late a problem exists. Our options become limited. In the end we sometimes have only one option. Accept the end as it comes.
This same scenario is too often visible in our relationships among family members and between friends. It also occurs in churches, associations, and conventions. We are not sure what is going on, but something feels unusual. Something is wrong. We sense a deep and serious problem exists, but we cannot define it. The end result could be fatal if preventive action is not soon taken. Yet we have little warning of the coming crisis.
The medical personnel found nothing on ECGs or blood tests that would show anything was wrong around my heart. Only when they went into the arteries with a camera did they find the obvious cause of the unwanted pain. Once discovered the problem was evident and the cure obvious. A procedure to insert a stint took less than a hour and a day later I was home. Sometimes we must look deeper into our relationships to make sure that possible trouble is not hiding and building into something deadly.
I told my doctor that I felt I had a problem and did not know what to do about it. That started the process of treatment. We must do the same with family members and friends. We must communicate! My health was valuable. I wanted to do something about keeping it in the best condition possible. Our relationships are likewise valuable. We must do whatever is necessary to keep those relationships healthy. We must communicate!
I didn't blame the doctor for my condition. I went to the doctor because I knew that any help I needed must begin there. Don't blame a family member or friend when you sense trouble in the relationship. Express your concern and ask for help from the only one who can work with you to solve the problem, the other member in the relationship.
Within the church we too often push felt problems under the proverbial rug. We don't want to hurt someone's feelings. We don't want to make something big out of something that appears small. We operate as if we can ignore a problem and it will go away. It almost never does.
We must communicate! Redemption is a foundational aspect of good communication. You want to restore what may appear to be damaged or broken. In redemption you think of the needs of others. In redemption you express value. In redemption you take action to restore that which you had before. Few church, association, or convention conflicts would exist for long if redemption was the goal in every discussion.
Only through an emphasis upon redemptive and open communication can reconciliation be reached and healthy relationships restored. Only as we seek the divinely defined health of God's people through reaching out to others, by considering others better than ourselves, and by honoring others (Romans 12:3-16) will we be able to maintain the family relationships within the family of God that he intended.
Trust is the key to reconciliation and spiritual health. I trusted my doctors. I will again. When others know they can trust me, they will be open with me in their communication. They will reveal their fears and their pains. They will explore with me how I can help. Sometimes I will have to ask and hope that enough trusts exists that they will share what they had planned on keeping hidden. That is when the blocked arteries are discovered and healing/restoration can begin.
