This Saturday my younger son will get married to his best friend. They have been dating for seven years. The length of time should indicate they know what they are doing. They both have jobs. Both are respected in their work. They share common interests and yet also have their differences. My son loves sports. My soon-to-be daughter-in-law has her unique interests in studying people through her psychology training. Two sets of parents have watched their children grow up, go through changes, and now there is this one more change. A new family is born.
This wedding/marriage reflects other changes. Both from the east, they have planned their wedding in California. That is not what you would consider traditional. It will be a waterside wedding on the beach, again not traditional for us Midwesterners. There will be no tuxes, and the bride will be barefooted beneath her wedding gown. Again this might seem a bit nontraditional. She is maintaining her maiden name, and children are not to be considered a foregone conclusion.
Things are different from when my wife and I got married 34 years ago. Traditions are not the hard and fast rules any more. They are options. To be honest I'm just glad to be getting a daughter. I've had two boys. I want a daughter. Now I'm getting one!
None of the traditions that were not followed in this wedding or the marriage ahead need have any impact whatsoever upon the love and commitment these two young people have for each other. They are all outward formalities. The critical aspect of their marriage will be their commitment to the Lord they both claim as Savior and to the vows they make to each other. Those are the things that make their relationship rich and enduring.
The same can be said of a church. Rituals come and go and must be seen as traditions that are options rather than commandments. A healthy church will be wise enough to see the difference between traditions and fundamental beliefs and values. A healthy church will know that traditions can change and often must do so for the gospel to have the opportunity to be heard, understood, and accepted. Compromise on the message cannot be allowed. Compromise on the method of communication is essential.
Every church needs to go through a period of self-evaluation and introspection on a regular basis. Methods that worked 30 years ago may have lost their effectiveness. Programs that met missional needs in the community for the last generation may not be meeting any of the foremost needs of the current generation. Leadership that stopped adjusting to their changing context may need to retool or resign so that prepared leadership can move into position.
Today I read a parable of five foolish maidens and five wise maidens in Matthew 25. All came to the wedding feast prepared, assuming nothing changed. Well, change happened. The groom was late. The situation changed. Plans and preparation had to change. Those who were prepared for change joined the marriage feast. Those who had refused to be prepared for change were left out in the darkness.
Where will our churches be left standing when the Bridegroom comes?
