Don’t you
just hate it when you hear those words directed at you? It is bad enough to be
wrong. It is worse when you are wrong and someone else is right. The worst
situation is when you are wrong, someone else is right, and they remind you of
it. At that moment you pray for patience and the strength to admit you are wrong
and they are right without you doing something crude and brutal to them or
wishing someone else would.
Being
civilized should mean something in our conversation with others. We think
before we speak or act. We consider how our words might be received by our
listeners. We do all we can to make sure what we want to say is what is
understood by our listeners. We know our tone of voice will convey as much if
not more than our words. Even our body language will determine how our words
are received.
The brief
statement, “I told you so”, conveys different meanings and emotions to
different people. The confession I offer here is simply I do not like the
statement, and it has a tremendous impact upon how I look at the person making
the statement both at the time and in later situations.
Is this a
new statement? Not at all. I have very little disagreement with the Apostle
Paul. He could, however, test my patience on the rare occasion. This involves
how he treated some people and how his speech did not always convey the
compassion and grace the gospel demanded.
On example
may be found in Acts 15 where Paul refused to allow John Mark to travel with
him on his second missionary journey due to a past failing. Emotions prevailed
and a missionary partnership was dissolved. Only later was there a
reconciliation. The other example of Paul’s abruptness is found in Acts 27
during the long and disastrous journey from Caesarea to Rome for Paul’s trial
before the emperor.
Act
27:20-21 For many days we could not see the sun or the stars, and the wind kept
on blowing very hard. We finally gave up all hope of being saved. After
everyone had gone a long time without food, Paul stood before them and said,
"You should have listened to me and not have sailed from Crete; then we
would have avoided all this damage and loss.
Earlier in
the voyage the captain and the crew had decided to make the voyage to Rome
instead of staying in a less than adequate harbor for the winter. Paul had
counseled staying in the safety of the harbor limited as it might be. Now with
disaster seeming to await them, Paul stands up and says, “I told you so!” I
would have thrown him overboard.
Reading the
chapter you will discover the ship is lost, but everyone escapes to an island
safely and are rescued, eventually able to continue their journey to Rome.
Paul’s words, however, hang as a sour note in the middle of God’s rescue of the
crew and passengers. Who wants to hear someone say, “I told you so” even while
your ship faces almost certain destruction?
Being right
is a wonderful feeling. Being right when everyone else seems to be wrong can
lead you to feel more than a little self-righteous. James in his brief letter
carrying his name emphasized we need to:
Jam 1:19 Remember this, my dear friends! Everyone must be quick to
listen, but slow to speak and slow to become angry.
Being quick
to listen and slow to speak is what gives us the opportunity to think about
what would be most appropriate to say before we say it. Being right is always
best. Being right and silent may also be appropriate, at times even better.
Give warning
when warning is needed. Allow the results to show you were right. If they are
evident, then all will know and need not be told. If the results are not
evident, don’t be so sure you were right.
