The Encouraging Word

Too often we dwell on what we used to be or what we used to be able to do. As one comment has been made that reflects on us older adults, we maintain visions of what we used to be in our bodies of today. When we acknowledge the truth of what we are and the loss we have experienced, frustration and depression can be the result.

Such a frame of mind need not be, however. To look in the mirror is to see that change and the loss it brings are natural processes of life. Each individual experiences these changes and losses in their own unique way and at a different pace.

For some the process can offer extended opportunities for experiencing the best parts of life. For others the changes come too quickly and reflect a deteriorating life condition. We have all known some for whom “old age” came at fifty while others seem capable of a lifestyle at seventy enjoyed by those still in their forties. We are saddened by the early onset of this loss of health and energy, but we are forced to accept it as a part of life.

So what can we do, as ones who may enjoy a more varied set of activities in our lives, for those whose limitations have come too soon either in their eyes or the eyes of the world? When you cannot change their physical condition, you can help them change their attitude.

Psychologists have noted the one thing over which persons have total and sole control is their attitude, the way they choose to face a condition or a situation. Frustration and depression of the non medical sort are attitudes revealing the perspective of a person facing their context. If we can change the perspective, then we may perhaps change the attitude.

Pro 12:25 Worry is a heavy burden, but a kind word always brings cheer. (CEV)

What does an encouraging word represent? Consider what you are conveying when you offer a person who is frustrated by their current situation. You are telling them they have been noticed. You “see” them. They are not invisible to the world. They are uniquely remembered among all the people around them.

You care about them. To speak an encouraging word is tell them you feel compassion for them and not just from a distance. You are willing to enter into their lives with an expression of concern. This is more than the idea their name crossed your mind in a passing moment. Their situation elicited a response from you that was to be shared with them. Thus the action is more than just the word; it is an expression of your lives coming together.

The encouraging word may be spoken. It may also be written. A letter to my mother is read multiple times before it is laid aside to be replaced with the newest written communication. In the same fashion young preschoolers are known to have carried a postcard addressed to them for days after receiving it in the mail.

The encouraging word conveys the idea a person is remembered and that someone cares. The encouraging word says things can be seen in a different light and change for the better is possible. Written or spoken, the encouraging word offers hope, renews emotional and spiritual strength, and lets the individual know they are not facing the next moment alone.

The Apostle Paul wrote in his Second Letter to the Corinthians we who have been in need before should share our hope with those needing encouragement now.

2Co 1:3-4 Praise God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! The Father is a merciful God, who always gives us comfort. He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble. (CEV)

The encouraging word is like a smile, always available and always free.

The Power of Encouragement

Those were simple words Jesus uttered at the end of the Gospel of Matthew, “I will be with you, even to the end of the age.” (28:20) What they followed was anything but simple. Make all the peoples of the world my disciples. Mark them as my disciples through baptism in my name. Teach them to be obedient to all that I have taught you. Transform the world into an earthly version of my Father’s Kingdom. Those disciples needed to hear those final words of encouragement.

There is power in encouragement. A teacher in a room of first graders can see success as much if not more through the encouragement given as in the number of new words spelled correctly. A four year degree is often attained more through the encouragement of professors as from tests passed. A new job is sought and acquired often more from the encouragement from friends and coworkers as from a dressed up resume and application. Encouragement can make the difference between looking at the mountain and climbing it.

Gary Chapman has a series of books entitled The Five Love Languages. The core idea is that there are five primary ways individuals show love and are able to accept love. This is between spouses, generations, and even with God. According to his guidance one of my key languages is the language of affirmation. I understand love that is shown through words of encouragement and approval. Save your gifts for someone else. Tell me that I can get the job done with just a little more effort.

Are some people around you discouraged? Encourage them. It doesn’t cost much, if anything. You can be straight forward or you can get creative. It makes no difference who you are. You can encourage someone else. While leading a Bible study with a group of senior adults, I remind them on a regular basis they can encourage another person with only a smile or positive word. It’s a skill they never lose due to age.

The world around us is programmed to depress us. News accounts begin with the most negative stories, paper and digital. Conversations turn to the negative quickly. Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” says something to the effect that people speak in negative terms about others because bad things are easier to remember. No statistics are in my hands to prove it, but it seems that we spend more time talking about how bad things are than emphasizing the good.

There is power in encouragement even when you don’t like what’s going on around you. Why can I be so positive about this? I know who wrote the Book. I know how the last chapter ends. I know that from the beginning of human conscience, we have tried to do things our way and live a life of one-up-man-ship with the people around us. That creates a negative world. Only when we decide to serve instead of dominate do we allow the positive to rise to the surface.

Choosing to encourage others instead of demanding personal attention creates that welcome positive note. It says someone cares about others before self. It says that someone is willing to bring a little light into someone else’s life. The recipient receives an emotional vitamin. They receive a new perspective on life in general and on themselves in particular. When people are encouraged, they receive hope.

Encouragement comes in many forms. Smiles are cheap as are words of affirmation. Cards and letters don’t cost much and the unexpected email costs no more than that smile. Most often the only cost to us when we encourage someone else is to invest a little time. We only need to remember and be intentional that today we will encourage someone and be a little less negative. A miracle in someone's life may just be the result.