Have you ever had the feeling
someone was telling you it was time to leave their presence, the old “Here’s
your hat. What’s your hurry” attitude? We have all had the desire to be alone
or in more limited company at times. The concern we need to feel is toward
those who want to be alone most or all the time. Their interest in life does
not extend beyond their own personal comfort and needs.
When we become a member of
the oldest generation, we all must make decisions about how we will relate to
life. Our income producing years will generally be over. Our physical abilities
will not be what they used to be. Cognitive skills may show the first signs of
decreasing due to aging. There are a few individuals facing these changes who
decide they have only limited value to other people and society in general.
Their reaction is to withdraw from any contact that would remind them of what
they feel they have lost. They are the Won’t-Gos among our older adults.
Won’t-Gos are not to be confused
with individuals who simply fill their schedules with so many personal
interests they have no time or interest to join those of someone else. This
group simply feels they cannot socialize with other people. The Won’t-Gos have lost
much of their desire to be around others due to their self-perception of
uselessness or because of painful relationships from the past. Any effort to
bring them back into social relationships is met with a gentle or not so gentle
rebuff.
The Church has a
responsibility to reach out to these older adults who have assumed the most
negative attitude toward their own condition or toward others. These are people
loved by God and for whom Christ died as much as any other person. Won’t-Gos
have value to God; they also have value to other people. The Church must take
the initiative to help these older adults see they still have much to give to
those around them.
There is much the Church,
families, and acquaintances can do to help this group of older adults find joy
in sharing life again. We must show them they are valuable, they have worth –
to God and to the people around them. Past hurts can be forgiven and moved
past. God-given gifts can be used as light in their circles of contact.
Mat
5:14-16 You are like light for the whole
world. A city built on top of a hill cannot be hidden, and no one would light a
lamp and put it under a clay pot. A lamp is placed on a lampstand, where it can
give light to everyone in the house. Make your light shine, so that others will
see the good that you do and will praise your Father in heaven.
They may not be able to do
what they did in the past, but the present viewed honestly offers opportunities
to contribute in other beneficial ways.
Past experiences may be the
source of painful memories that have caused barriers to be raised. Ministry to
Won’t-Gos focused upon confession, repentance, and forgiveness will probably be
necessary. Positive past experiences can be used by others to enrich life in
the present and future. Encouragement can help others face situations with
greater confidence and boldness than might otherwise be felt. A smile, a word,
or a touch might be all another person needs to decide that life is worth
living after all. Won’t-Gos both need and can still offer these gifts.
