Protecting That Turf

In giving compliments, the best pronoun to use is “you”. We all like to hear someone say something nice about us. We don’t care much what it is just as long as it makes us feel good. We like hearing it and we like knowing someone recognizes something good in us.

On the flip side the best pronoun to use in expressing criticism is “I”. That introduces a whole new dynamic. Suddenly we are not feeling so good. We are sharing self-criticism. We are confessing we are wrong. We are confessing we don’t have all the answers. We are confessing we might need to say we’re sorry and ask for forgiveness.

Yet sincerity in an apology can bring about as much good feeling, harmony, and strengthening into a relationship as a compliment, perhaps even more. A compliment says something about the other person. An apology says something about you. It is that openness that allows for a deepening level of trust and mutual appreciation.

That apology loses all significance when defensiveness involving pride, power, or position raises its ugly head. This very human response rarely produces positive results. The walls it builds prevent understanding, compromise, and reconciliation. You cannot be defending and protecting your turf while seeking to understand the other party in the conversation.

Within the family it’s a lot more than sibling squabbles over who gets the top bunk, who controls the remote, or who has access to the video game. The real damage is done when spouses draw a hard and fast line over family duties, bank accounts, or allowances for certain expenditures. In each way these disagreements reflect someone trying to protect family turf they feel is theirs to do with as they please.

In the marketplace fear can be rampant about who has the boss’s ear or who is trying to nose in on someone else’s business clientele. It can be as mundane as location of an office cubicle or access to support staff. When favorite business interests seem threatened by another’s growing ambition, the attitudinal and verbal claws can come out destroying any chance of understanding intentions or goals.

Among churches the turf battles have become proverbial. Access to funds, space, and calendar too often become the topics for heated arguments, misunderstandings, and broken relationships. No one touches the kitchen committee’s space. Nothing is placed on the calendar that will interfere with choir rehearsals. The Preschool Council has absolute say over the guidelines for the use of its space no matter how antiquarian the rules may be.

No one is allowed to question the work of the Budget and Finance Committee. No changes can be made in room arrangements without getting the approval of the Building and Grounds Committee. No one can manage the class savings account except Mrs. Doe. No one can touch the shrubs outside the front door except Mr. Doe. Turf is literally a basis for church division. Turf protection becomes the highest priority.

In Romans 12 the Apostle Paul gives us powerful guidelines for getting along with others and avoiding devastating defensive postures:

Rom 12:10  Love one another warmly as Christians, and be eager to show respect for one another.

Rom 12:11  Work hard and do not be lazy. Serve the Lord with a heart full of devotion.

Rom 12:12  Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles, and pray at all times.

Rom 12:13  Share your belongings with your needy fellow Christians, and open your homes to strangers.

Rom 12:14  Ask God to bless those who persecute you---yes, ask him to bless, not to curse.

Rom 12:15  Be happy with those who are happy, weep with those who weep.

Rom 12:16  Have the same concern for everyone. Do not be proud, but accept humble duties. Do not think of yourselves as wise.

Rom 12:17  If someone has done you wrong, do not repay him with a wrong. Try to do what everyone considers to be good.

Rom 12:18  Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody.

Defensive tactics have rarely won a conflict, only prolonged it with disastrous effects.

Old Dogs Can Learn

 Quite a few years ago now, Rev. Billy Graham was asked what he would do differently if he knew he had only three years left to live. In the middle of his prime as a Christian evangelist known around the world, his response was he would spend the first two years in intensive study and the final year in public evangelism. With all he had been through in preparation, he felt he still had much more to learn.

I can agree with Rev. Graham’s assessment. You are never too old to learn. Recently I went to an all day conference I figured would be just a refresher course on dealing with people. The speaker, a seasoned missionary who had spent many years in Europe, had a lot to say this local minister needed to hear after all. This old dog learned a few tricks as well.

How old do you have to be before you don’t need to learn anything new? A lot older than I am. How much do you need to know before you don’t need to learn something new? A lot more than I know.

That tried-in-the-fire missionary had learned much through trial and error, through mistakes and consequences. He made the comment there is too much for us to learn that we should have to learn it all through personal experience. We need to take advantage of what others have learned ahead of us.

2Timothy 2:15  Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. (English Standard Version)

When the Apostle Paul wrote to his young assistant Timothy, he encouraged him to study extensively to be prepared for every situation he could foresee. He was to seek God’s approval, the only Judge worth considering. He was also to be sensitive to how he handled the message of the Gospel, “the word of truth.” There was no need to modify it or soften it, just do it with integrity.

Another emphasis Paul put on continuous learning can be seen in his words a little later in this same letter. Facts are important for decisions. Knowing history and options in a situation is important. Life skills, however, allow us to live in society with honesty, integrity, and healthy pride. The Bible, “the word of truth”, is the source to use for gaining those life skills.

Paul says,

2Timothy 3:16) All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching the truth, rebuking error, correcting faults, and giving instruction for right living, 17)  so that the person who serves God may be fully qualified and equipped to do every kind of good deed. (Good News Bible)

Knowing how to live changes with every year we live. New perspectives on life, new social circles, or a new context for living can change the way we react to the world around us. The actions must change sometimes out of necessity, but the principles that guide our actions must never change.

Study the truth, Paul told Timothy, and learn how to share it with honesty and integrity. With the truth a person will not only be able to recognize truth and error within and in the world. That person will also know how to provide correction for others which will not bring personal embarrassment or shame.

Approaching retirement does not mean one will soon no longer need to learn about the world or how to get along with people. Perhaps the opposite is more true. The more we have learned about the world around us and the people who inhabit it, the more we need to know about them and how to be true to ourselves while interacting with them in a positive and constructive way.

May the words from the writer in Proverbs be a guide all our lives:

Proverbs 3:13) Happy is anyone who becomes wise---who comes to have understanding. 14) There is more profit in it than there is in silver; it is worth more to you than gold.

Quality Matters to God

The Psalmist says, “Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the lands!” (Psalm 100:1, RSV) For some of us that one verse gives us a biblical basis for singing during a worship service. If we were required to hit every note, we would sit in silence!

Yet I thank the Lord for that one verse which says God welcomes my noise as long as it is lifted in praise for who he is and what he has done in revealing his wondrous love for me. The notes I hit and miss are not important to him. The words I sing are important and even more important is the attitude I carry in my heart while I sing.

God is willing to accept our noise as worship if it is offered with sincerity and the ongoing surrender of our lives into his hands. Our relationship with him is far more important than the quality of our offering to him. No offering of any form is worthy of the One to whom we are giving it. Yet God accepts our best because he has already offered his best in his Son Jesus Christ. (Romans 5:8)

This, however, does not mean God will accept whatever we offer him that may be convenient for us. That is not part of the deal. The prophet Malachi created quite a stir when he pointed out the animal sacrifices being brought to the Temple were not good enough for the governor, much less the Creator of heaven and earth.

Mal 1:6  The LORD Almighty says to the priests, "Children honor their parents, and servants honor their masters. I am your father---why don't you honor me? I am your master---why don't you respect me? You despise me, and yet you ask, 'How have we despised you?'

Mal 1:7  This is how---by offering worthless food on my altar. Then you ask, 'How have we failed to respect you?' I will tell you---by showing contempt for my altar.

Mal 1:8  When you bring a blind or sick or lame animal to sacrifice to me, do you think there's nothing wrong with that? Try giving an animal like that to the governor! Would he be pleased with you or grant you any favors?"

Mal 1:9  Now, you priests, try asking God to be good to us. He will not answer your prayer, and it will be your fault. (Good News Bible)

Quality does matter to God when we give him the leftovers instead of the best of we have. He requires the best we have. We acknowledge who he is by the gifts we bring. We are called to give him the best.

Several years ago I was in a worship service in which a trio stood up to sing and prefaced their efforts with these words, “You all pray for us because this is the first time we’ve sung this together.” At that point I wanted to get up and walk out. I figured Jesus already had. If God was not worth taking the time to rehearse the piece before singing it in a service supposedly devoted to honoring and glorifying him, then someone had a wrong idea of what God wanted out of his people.

Financially God asks us to give to the work of his Kingdom from what we have at the beginning, not from leftovers. When we give our time in service to him, he wants time in which we are fresh, energetic, and able to give full attention to the work, not only when we are tired. When we bring an offering of music, God wants our best, not something we have thrown together at the last minute.

God wants our best in our material offerings, in our usage of time, in the work of our abilities, and in our attitudes. When God has first place in our lives, then he will get our best. He will get it not because he demands it, but because we want to give it to him. We will recognize that nothing but the best is good enough for our God.

Faith as a Mustard Seed

The early disciples had a legitimate request when they asked for greater spiritual strength. Jesus didn’t tell them the request was silly, only the limitations they currently faced.

Luk 17:5 The apostles said to the Lord, "Make our faith greater." 6) The Lord answered, "If you had faith as big as a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, 'Pull yourself up by the roots and plant yourself in the sea!' and it would obey you.

We could see this as Jesus belittling his followers for their lack of faith, or we could see it as an important teaching moment. It may be Jesus was trying to instruct his disciples in the power of the faith they had. They weren’t using what little that was there! A pastor friend once pointed out in a sermon Jesus was illustrating what even a little faith could do at a time his disciples were asking for more.

It’s not that we need to move trees; we need to understand what having the right relationship with God can mean for our lives. This is just as true for a church as it is for an individual. We walk by means of faith OR we walk by means of the world.

Jesus would continue to be with his disciples for only a few more weeks. During that time they would see him at his greatest moments and also when his faith in his heavenly Father would be stretched. Through all of it he would be teaching those who had ears to hear and eyes to see lessons in faith.

God granted those early disciples the faith to launch the Church into the world. They were already in trouble with the Jewish leaders for claiming to have seen the resurrected Jesus. Forming a community that would become independent of the Jerusalem Temple just made matters worse.

Each member of that community was drawn into it by faith that was also a gift from God, separating them from the perspectives and morality of the world. (Ephesians 2:8-10) Their faith made them different from the world and be either shunned or praised by the world. Faith in God through Jesus Christ leads not only to salvation but must also lead to a walk through this life that honors God and supports the work of his Kingdom in this world.

By faith each follower of Jesus Christ is a catalyst for change in the world. By faith each church or family of faith is an outpost of the Kingdom of God. As individuals and as congregations, our faith calls us to be different and make a difference where we live and in the world as a whole.

Prayer is a mark of a life lived by faith in Christ. It is the mark of a relationship. You give little attention to what has little value to you whether it be material object or relationship. You think about and spend time with what you consider of value. It demands your attention and your resources.

That’s prayer. The more we pray the more it reveals about our relationship with our heavenly Father. The more our prayers allow God’s priorities to shape our lives and influence our actions, the higher the value we place upon that relationship and the more faith undergirds it.

Service is another mark of faith for the believer in Jesus Christ. Effective prayer will not leave us in a prayer closet. It will lead us to the hurting and dying. Faith-filled service will lead us to walk beside the lonely and the lost. Through it we will offer hope to the hopeless, compassion to the oppressed, and love to the outcasts of the world.

Service empowered by faith in Jesus Christ will lead us out of our comfort zones, away from areas of safety, out of the familiar and into a messy world that is crying for someone to show it something better exists. Faith empowered by the Spirit of God sacrificially serves to transform.

Our prayer should be far more, “Lord, help us walk by faith,” than “Lord, increase our faith.”